Table Service

Why is it that when I have 100 things to do, I do 100 things. When I only have one or two things, I do zero things?

Exhibit A:


Ceci n'est pas une pipe.* Neither is it a photograph of neatly stacked laundry, nor my clean bathroom, nor a stack of paid bills.


But 'tis what I have done today.

Lucy, on the other hand, has been quite productive. Look - she has even published a book!


Actually, she was googling her name the other day (have you never done that?) and discovered that someone with very nearly the exact same name published this book in 1923. This Lucy G. Allen was an instructor at the Boston Cookery School, of Fannie Farmer fame. It is a text book for young women training to become servants in well-to-do Bostonian homes.

Lucy was so taken with this idea that she decided to write up her own version of Table Service, albeit a much shorter version. From somewhere deep in her psyche, she was able to capture the tone of the time and the text.

Exhibit B:

Table Service by Lucy G. Allen

Table service is one of the finer arts. The servicing of the table includes many subcategories such as flower arranging and doily choosing. Table service is not the servicing of those at the table as some may think, it is the service of the table itself. Take the dinner table for instance. In olden times most would use a table cloth; now only on a few formal occasions does one use one. The modern alternative is the place mat. There is also the question of what to keep on the table while it is not being used for eating purposes. Now that we are in a time where simple is best, I recommend a nice vase of flowers.

Where did she come up with it? I do not know. But she was absolutely delighted when the book arrived this morning and it sounded exactly like she imagined.

Exhibit C:


I am sure the ability to parody textbooks from the 1920s will serve her well in life. Quite sure.


* Apologies to René Magritte.