It was a fitful night of sleep. The stimulation of the long drive, meeting the other artists and writers, and getting oriented to the place made it difficult to settle. Also - the birds! It was as if I was standing (or laying down) in the center of an amphitheater and the birds were cheering in concentric rings around me - rings and rings extending outwards for miles. I am not a stranger to nature but this…I have never heard such a raucous chorus! Hey birds - chill out!
Above and beyond the newness of it all, I could feel in my body a growing anxiety as the night wore on and I was still awake. "Oh no, my day will be ruined tomorrow if I am so tired. How will I get everything done?" And then I realized, there is no where to go, nothing needs to get done, no one is looking over my shoulder. I can sleep or not sleep. I can eat or not eat. I can lay in bed til noon (or beyond), if that's what suits me. I can do a two-hour yoga practice. I can sit meditation all day long. I can go for a hike or a bike ride or drive into town. Or - wait for it - I could make art.
I have forgotten, if I ever knew, what this kind of time is like.
I will not lay in bed 'til noon. No. My thought has been: how do I honour this opportunity that has been given to me? I think the answer is, do what's needed.