Sunday, May 27, 2007

close your eyes slowly and offer a delusion...I mean...donut

I have been think a lot about validation lately. The House Museum project has been totally funded by me (and my family). I used up the vast profits from my percent for art project to get it started and, despite my efforts otherwise, it is, to date, an unfundable project: too Canadian for US foundations, too American for Canadian agencies. But so what? I don't have to answer to anyone else's ideas about what is acceptable, I have free rein. But....but...

Besides the money thing (and that isn't to be overlooked lightly), grants bring with them a certain amount of validation: we think what you are doing is worth something--money plus our seal of approval. I sometimes feel a bit of a fraud for not having that kind of validation. I mean, anyone could do anything and call it art! Oh, wait.

Perhaps it is all just part of a larger issue I have with seeking other people's approval. I know I am much too attached to the good side of that, judging from how sharply I feel the negative side of it. I don't know. Would I feel less like just one person doing my thing in a little house on the edge of a big rock in the north Atlantic if I had a letter and a cheque from some institution?

Any kind of fairy tale will do, apparently.

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