Monday, April 05, 2010
Today is the first day in months and months when I have nothing to do - nothing scheduled, nothing waiting to be done, no deadline pressing. Well, I can easily think of many things I should be doing, but nothing is dire. It is a lovely feeling.
I am a little conflicted about writing about my experience with tangaryo. It feels very private, although I shared it with two other students, our wonderful, strong monitor, and of course, our teacher and the sangha. It was very intimate in a very real way. Perhaps because I have been so busy, I hadn't really developed any notion of what it was "supposed" to be like, so I was surprised at how deeply moving it was. Surprised to find that it does feel like things are different now in some intangible way.
As our teacher said at the beginning of our day of sitting, this is a practice with no edges.
I let go with both hands.