To Be Ordinary Is Very Special

We are all special.

A few days before Christmas, I had an attack of TMJ.  I forget what those letters stand for (look it up, if you must) but what it means is that I slept with my jaw clenched and woke up in severe pain on the right side of my face.  My usual techniques for dealing with pain (something that I don't often experience) didn't work.  Instead of scurrying about my business, I wanted to curl up and weep with the hopelessness of it all.  And I would have except that my face hurt too much.

I think it was the fact that I sent an angry text to my son from bed at 3 AM reading, "You MUST do ALL the dishes and clean up the kitchen!!!" that put me over the edge.  Since returning from Italy, he has taken to making himself pasta in the small hours of the morning and leaving the kitchen a mess, which I then discover only a couple of hours later.  This does not make me happy.  In fact, it causes me to send angry texts from bed and then clench my jaw so tightly that I spend the next week downing ibuprofen like they are peanuts.

But the good news is that my jaw is softening up.  The pain is under control and lessening each day.  I should be able to enter Rohatsu sesshin without the added thrill of severe facial pain in the mix.  But the whole experience was a bit of a wake-up call.  I didn't even know that I had reached my stressed out tipping point.  When I finally did some accounting for myself, the list of things that were worthy of jaw clenching was actually pretty high.  As someone who spends a ton of time bearing witness to my thoughts and actions, it is almost embarrassing that I was so unaware of what was really going on.  But there you go!

So....my wish and hope for you - and for myself - in the coming new year is that you - and me - allow ourselves enough space and time to really know what is enough.  And then allow it to Be Enough.  Because we are enough!

See?

For One Thing:

Sparkly alpaca.

...and for another thing:

The Raspberry couch.

The Road Not Taken

Not going to Italy, what did we do?

Part of my deal to myself was to use my time not in Italy as wisely as I could.  This means that I have been working steadily on my Staycation DIY Project - Living Room Update.

The couch is currently being re-upholstered so we are sitting on pillows on the floor (the cats love it!).

Where's the couch to?

The curtains are finished and up, which is glorious.

I think I bought this fabric more than 15 years ago.  I guess some projects have a longer incubation period than others (ahem).

I painted the walls a new, more mature and sophisticated colour that matches these new and sophisticated curtains.  I am very excited for the return of the couch, which also will be a new and sophisticated colour.  Or maybe not.  I chose "Raspberry" cotton velvet for the couch.  Oh yes I did!  No pictures yet as we are still waiting for its return.

Next up, a new rug for the floor.

Not raspberry

Also made a couple of batches of soap that will go into gift bags for people who come to the Zen Mountain Monastery Dana Dinner  (December 18th) - a community holiday dinner for people who live around Mt. Tremper, NY, and who might not otherwise have the means for a big holiday spread.  If this describes you, then please go!  A nicer group of eager elves, you will not find.