Wednesday, February 25, 2015


He's got his eyes on the prize.

Many exciting and unexpected things happen when light hits mirrors.

This is my final work week before beginning to install To Stand in the Center and See All Around.  What is most clear to me is that I honestly have no idea how it going to look and if it will convey what I want it to convey until it is totally installed.  Until then, la la la, I work merrily along as if it will all be just fine.

I do worry that I will get in the gallery space next week and suddenly remember some extremely important element that is missing.  That sick feeling in the gut.  The blood rushing to the face.  If I am the only person who knows that it is "supposed to" look like, are there any mistakes?  Every project I make leads to this same place.  I get right up close to the presentation and I begin to doubt and to worry that the whole world will finally - finally - recognize me as the total failure that I so clearly am, capable of nothing, full of myself, the emperor's new clothes personified.

Other people stay home at night and watch Dancing with The Stars instead of putting their hearts and souls out there for all to stomp on.  What's my problem that I have to go around blathering and showing off?

And more like that.

You would think that, after 30 years, it would get easier but it doesn't get easier because, each time, I am putting a new heart and soul out there.  In a way, it gets more difficult because I am less convinced of my own correctness than when I was 20.

These are the direction of my thoughts as I work on the sound component of the installation - the part that I have the least amount of experience doing so, naturally, is fraught with the most doubt.

But, what the hell - it's an installation in a little space in Brooklyn.  I love making it and I love sharing it.  The suffering, as they say, is optional.

And I want to share this monumental photograph!  Here we are, WAMER (Women Artists Meeting Eating and Reading) reunited in the most 21st Century of ways!  Our artist study group is getting back  together after several years' hiatus, this time with one member joining via Skype.  What was most incredible about it was that we all became immediately adjusted to having her join us like that, as if it were normal or something.

Oh people, we are a funny lot!

A Place at the Table.

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